Divorce isn’t easy for anyone, but it’s often said, “It’s hardest on the children.” And that’s probably true. Children don’t have the maturity or emotional skills needed to completely grasp and cope with this tremendous upheaval in their lives. Telling your children that you are getting divorced may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. There is no easy or perfect way to do this, but these tips can provide a good start in helping everyone to turn the page to this new chapter in your family members’ lives:
Do it together: You and your spouse should sit down together to break the news and explain the situation. This is not the time for blaming or finger-pointing. Be patient and kind to your children and to each other. Even if this is not a joint decision, your children need to know that you both love them and that both of you will remain active in their lives.
Be honest: Your children have a right to know why. Divorce is bound to bring some intense feelings of instability and insecurity to your children; this will be a difficult transition for them, and in these shifting seas, you need to be their anchor. They need to know that they can still trust you. So tell them the truth. You don’t have to go into excessive detail, but, commensurate with your children’s ages, explain the situation clearly and honestly.
Assure them that it’s not their fault: It isn’t uncommon for children to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Tell them clearly that it’s not, even if they don’t verbally express the idea. It may be good to repeat several times the reasons why you’re getting a divorce.
Tell them about future changes: Be open about what changes will come. Will one of the parents be moving out? Where will the children live? Tell them what you know at the time, and promise to keep them informed as things progress.
Reassure them of your love: Children may feel that they are in the way or even cast aside as you deal with your own emotions and changing circumstances. Assure them of your love. You can never do this too often.
Make no mistake, divorce is tough for everyone involved. Use these tips to help your children during this difficult period. And contact attorney Dwight W. Clark LLC. We can help you through this transition, providing both practical