We have recently discussed how divorce may not be a negative event for children in the way that some parents assume. If those parents are in a high-conflict marriage, the divorce may actually be better for the children by putting an end to this stressful living situation.
That said, the way that children react to divorce is largely dictated by how they find out. Those initial reactions are incredibly important. As such, here are three tips that can help you when you’re telling your kids about an upcoming divorce.
1. Make sure everyone is together
Start by gathering all of your children, if you have more than one, so that you can tell them together. The last thing you want is for your children to hear rumors or find out from a sibling. This is the type of conversation that needs to be a family meeting.
2. Demonstrate the co-parenting relationship
On top of that, show your children that both you and your ex are devoted to being co-parents. Talk about how you will both still be involved in the children’s lives and how you both still love them. Ideally, both you and your spouse should tell the children about the divorce together, further strengthening this idea that the two of you are a united front.
Answer their questions
Finally, remember that the conversation isn’t just about you informing your children about the divorce. They also are going to have a lot of questions about where they will live and how life is going to change. Be sure you have enough time to really sit down and go through all of these details.
Focusing on the children is wise during a divorce. Be sure you know what legal steps you can take to maintain this focus.